just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
