I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
