doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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