I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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