well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She needs sedatives and a leash
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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