Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
