He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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