we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
