I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
