I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
