Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
