i think my mom watched the whole time
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
