She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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