She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
