I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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