My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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