I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
