My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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