onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
