i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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