sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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