He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize