I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize