your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
its not stalking. its research.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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