ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Randomize
