So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
