I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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