you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
