yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
