Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
