I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
