Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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