are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
