I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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