i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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