He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize