she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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