New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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