I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
