That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
