Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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