the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize