Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
