I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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