I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Even my vagina gasped.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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