come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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