I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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