I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
