The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
