There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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