I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
zippers are such a cool invention
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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