u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
my poor anus
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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