I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
