Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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