i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
