at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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