i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
