i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
