I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i need some magic done to my vagina
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
